The best advice I could give you is to stop caring what people think of you. It’s so freeing! I get that finding that self-confidence is easier said than done. But honestly, do you really care what strangers online think? The respect of family and friends is all that counts.
You will never be everyone’s cup of tea
You’re more likely to see a picture of me sipping on a glass of Prosecco or a pint rather than a cup of tea. The well-used British idiom ‘you will never be everyone’s cup of tea‘ means ‘not to someone’s liking’. We all drink our tea differently. How many times have you seen the tea scale online and the varying degree of answers? What we like and how we’re perceived is individual.
I want to be just like you
Growing up, I wanted people to like me, and if there was a hint that they didn’t, then I didn’t like it. I would do stupid things to try to make them like me – be loud, tell a few white lies, agree with their views (even if I didn’t). I would try out their hobbies so I would not be left out. Behaved differently around people trying to be the person I thought they wanted me to be.
Similarly, it led me to be friends with people who made me feel bad about myself. Not giving enough to those who should have been friends for life. It drains you and makes you feel incomplete; you have to dig deep to find out who you really are.
As I’ve got older, grumpier and less tolerant toward people and things that impact my life has seen me change my outlook. There wasn’t a defining moment, but I think it was being made redundant three times in two years. I had to adapt to a brand-new lifestyle and finding Mr Right (don’t tell him I said that!), but I stopped caring. By becoming me, I relaxed. I did what I was interested in. I explored, read, listened and learnt. Often on my own, I met new people and made time for old friends.
We live in other people’s heads
For instance, we post only the best picture of the twenty-seven selfies we took and add a flattering filter to get the most likes to prove that we are likeable.
All it does is make us judge ourselves more harshly. It makes us uncomfortable in our own bodies. It makes us feel apologetic for being ourselves. Do we really want to live according to our perception of other people’s standards? God forbid we don’t get enough comments, likes and shares!
Not good enough
I am not perfect! I try to be kind and considerate, but that doesn’t happen all the time. My thoughts are there; in fact, I think about people more than they realise. I am just rubbish at telling them. Even people I have not seen for years, I think about.
I have my friends and loved ones, I don’t need to be liked by others. Mostly I’m a good person and I definitely have some flaws that are here to stay. Some that need work, but don’t we all? I would prefer for people to try to get to know me before making a decision.
The truth is, what people think of you is none of our business. Their opinions have nothing to do with us and everything to do with them: their past, their judgments, their expectations, their likes, and their dislikes.
Stop worrying about what other people think of you. It will change your life.