Self-care, a whirlwind of a buzzword that has taken the internet by storm. Last night, I shared my evening of self-care on Instagram where I took the standard bubble bath, applied the mandatory face mask and read a book as I sat next to my pink himalayan salt lamp and inhaled the sweet sweet scent of my essential oils (a totally elitist version of self-care btw). But what you didn’t see was the very uncomfortable event of sitting with my feelings.
I don’t know whether it’s the position of the moon, a lack of magnesium, or the hormones that wreak havoc in my body (and mind) on a monthly basis, but I have SUCH big feelings at the moment – so much so that they drove me to dedicate a whole evening to just sorting them the 👏 hell 👏 out. Because regardless of how much the wellness industry tries to force this idea down your throats, self-care isn’t just about fancy facial treatments and instagram-perfect smoothies, it’s actually a lot more uncomfortable than that – so I wanted to share a little bit more about sitting with your feelings, difficult as it may be.
After my bath, and despite how hard I tried to submerge myself into the Sapiens book (y’know the one written by Yuval Noah Harari), my brain just kept circling around the thoughts and feelings that have been overwhelming my mind for a couple of days now. So I did something I’ve never really tried before, which was to write a poem. I guess another version of this would be to journal, something which I HAVE tried before but which has never really worked for me (although if that’s your jam then yas hunny, yas).
Now I’m not about to share my deep-rooted feelings on here because nOBODY needs to hear that, but I do want to say that I found writing those poems incredibly helpful, as well as healing (I might start calling it emotional poeming lol). Physically putting my feelings down on paper and being forced to work through them was a stimulating but surprisingly frightening experience. Each time I got to the start of a verse, I had to confront a herd of feelings that I’d long been ignoring in order to get to them litty rhymes (🤪). As I stumbled through words, and the emotions that were attached to them, I began to feel liberated and the most centered that I’ve been for a long while. This was a process which carried on till I was too tired to keep my eyes open and I can honestly say that today I woke up feeling lighter and with a much clearer mind.
Although I’m aware that writing poems won’t fix the mental health epidemic, I hope this can serve as a tip for those who need to get a hold on their emotions but just don’t know how to go about it, as well as anyone who’s realised that delivering a monologue of your most inner thoughts to the poor man in the kebab shop (subsequent to polishing off a bottle of your finest Echo Falls) is not a fruitful way to work through your emotions.
With all my love,