Please can this email be kept anonymous.
I was wondering if you may have some advice for me as I’m in quite the quandary.
I have a friend who is incredibly unreliable and it is affecting our friendship. She will not make plans to see me, and even when she does she cancels them. We’ve known each other two years now, and of those two years the first six months were great. We were instant friends. But over the last 18 months, she has been terrible to keep up with.
I feel however that it is just me she has been like this with. Social media pictures show she has socialised with other people when she has seemingly been busy, which has left me wondering if I am the problem.
I really do not want to lose our friendship, but I’m not sure what else I could do to save it.
I’m so sorry to hear this. It is horrible when someone else’s actions leave you confused, especially when they are the actions of someone you care about.
It regrettably sounds as though your ‘friend’ is no longer invested in the friendship. It is a harsh and bitter pill to swallow, but please do not start questioning whether this was caused by anything you did wrong. It definitely is not. Sometimes we all have changes of heart which are caused by nothing more than personal development. Her change in commitment to your friendship is in no way a reflection on you.
I would say that your friend has handled this really quite horribly. A short conversation would have spared you 18 months of wondering where you stood. Although hearing her say she no longer had an interest in the friendship would have initially hurt, it would have given you clarity, which would have been much kinder than leaving you hanging.
I would urge you to take this as a sign that she did not deserve your friendship anyway. You’re clearly a caring person – there is a friend out there who is much more deserving of your commitment.