I’m falling in love with my friend and it is completely unexpected.
I’ve been praying to God for him to bring a good man into my life and all along that ‘good man’ has been someone I’ve known for nearly seven years.
We’ve always got on really well but never before have I considered him as someone I could like in that way. But I’ve seen him in a different light recently, and I don’t just like him, I’m falling head over heels in love with him.
He’s never single for long so I feel like I need to make a move sooner rather than later, but how do I do so in a way that isn’t too intense that scares him off, but also lets him know that I’m serious?
Maybe it’s the romance of Christmas that’s got to me, but I dare say I’ll feel the same in the dark months of January and February too.
Please help me. I need to tell him or I’ll burst.
Happy New Year!
This is an exciting and common situation. I know of several friendships that have flourished into very successful relationships.
Relationships are often a natural progression for friends who have shared mutual trust, admiration and support for one another.
My first piece of advice is to err on the side of caution. I suggest that you do not rush in and open your heart straight away. Hold your emotions until you are sure that you are not mistaking these new feelings of love with the love and caring feelings that you would normally bestow on this friend.
Once you are certain that you are still ‘head over heels in love’, then there are several ways to let him know.
You can do some gentle hinting and subtle flirting to stimulate a response from him. This way you can gauge his reaction to your change in behaviour towards him. Also, when you do then talk to him about your feelings, it will make the revelation less of a shock to him.
Why not confide in a close and trusted friend who will help you to keep control of your emotions? This confidante could help instigate more meetings with you both in order to help the relationship develop naturally.
If you feel that it will be easier to express your feelings in writing, then a letter is a good option to confess your loving feelings for him. Reading this will give him the opportunity to process the news and react having had time to think about it, instead of giving a knee-jerk reaction having had the information sprung on him.
Alternatively, you can invite him out and make your confession then. Doing it this way will allow you to judge his reaction. Before you disclose your feelings, make sure it is the right moment and that you are both naturally enjoying each other’s company.
Whichever method you choose, listen carefully to what his response is to you. Does he feel the same? Is he not sure? Or is it a no? Be mindful that his feelings are also very important and emphasise that either way, his reaction to your confession will not jeopardise your friendship and that he is not going to lose you as a friend.
I really hope that your prayers have been answered and that things work out. Please let me know how you both get on.