I hope you can help me with my problem.
I feel like I’ve lost all my confidence in my appearance and I don’t know how to get it back.
I’m overweight but always have been. I’m not obese or really unhealthy, I just like crisps a bit too much! Being overweight was never something that made me feel unconfident before, but now I can’t stand to think that people might be looking at me.
I haven’t put any weight on recently or anything like that, so I don’t know what’s brought this on.
When I’m out, I feel like I want to the ground to swallow me whole so that people can’t see me. Whenever someone says I look nice I get a bit moody with them because I assume they’re taking the piss out of me.
I feel too embarrassed to tell my friends or my mum how I feel. Would you have any advice as to what I can do?
With it being such an unsettling time, I think that a lot of people are feeling all out of sorts. Even those of us who have not been directly affected by Covid have been through an emotionally, tumultuous time which can trigger loss of confidence, anxiety, loneliness or even depression in some cases. Whilst social media might show us leading our best lives, in reality we are all finding this challenging.
I note that you have not asked me for advice on how to lose weight, rather advice on how to learn to feel confident in your own skin again. Already, I think this is great. This shows that you do not want to change who you are, you want to find your confidence in who your are again.
Here are some recommendations on how you can refind your oomph:
- Why not try a new hobby or activity that gets you out of the house (but is Covid safe). Starting a new activity which requires physical exertion can be fabulous for showing yourself how amazing your body is. For example with weight training you will notice how quickly your body strengthens and is able to lift much heavier weights than you would have initially thought possible. This has nothing to do with exercise for weight loss – this is exercise to demonstrate the abilities of your body. It is proven that exercise in any form gives us confidence because it makes us sit up and appreciate what it is that we are able to achieve. You could choose anything from kayaking, to badminton, learning to horse ride or even setting yourself a ‘Couch to 5K’ challenge. Not only will the physicalities of your new hobby remind you how brilliant your body is, you will hopefully find something that you have a real interest in which will spark some enthusiasm in your life.
- In might not be your thing, but don’t knock it till you try it… Grab yourself a few new outfits, get yourself made up (I’m talking face and hair too), then have a little content shoot showing off your new outfit. Take as many outfit shots/selfies as you want and appreciate how fantastic you look in your fierce new outfits. The pictures don’t have to be seen by the world if you don’t want them to be, but take the time with taking the photos to appreciate what is beautiful about you. Next time somebody compliments you, instead of asumming they are mocking you, think back to how on fire you looked in these pics and realise that the person telling you that you look nice is simply telling the truth.
- It maybe that you are feeling a bit drab because nothing about your appearance has changed for a while. Check out which new make-up products are out there and have a play around with them. Sometimes going to a beauty counter and asking them to test some products on you can inspire you to go away and try some new looks yourself. Alternatively, why not have a chat with your hairstylist as to how you could change up your look. You need not do anything drastic if you don’t want to – sometimes even just trying out a new eyeshadow pallet can give us a much needed spring in our step.
I really hope that these recommendations go in some way to help you get your confidence back. Remember, we all have these dips from time to time.