I recently went on a staycation with a close friend and we had a lovely time!
However, I’m kind of feeling some resentment towards my friend after the trip. Whilst we were up there, money became a growing issue for me. What I mean by that is that my friend didn’t contribute much in terms of paying for things. As I drove up to our staycation (a 3 hour drive), it cost me quite a bit in petrol and also in parking. But my friend just let me pay it all and it cost me quite a lot of money. We did go halves on most of our meals, drinks etc, but it was always me who offered to pay for the both of us, she never offered at all. So I left the staycation pretty poor!
The parking and petrol cost me the most. We also had a spa day which was a Christmas gift I received, a free hotel room as I paid for it pre pandemic.
My friend has made it very clear to me in the past that she has a very good paying job and side hustle business and that she is making a lot of money for herself (which I’m proud of her for!) and she knows that I’m not frivolous when it comes to finances as I’m on a low wage.
Am I being unreasonable here? I love her to bits but I feel like I don’t want to go away with her again if it’s going to cost me so much money!
Love, Anon x
It sounds to me as though you are being completely reasonable. It would be expected for your friend to go halves with you with the travel arrangements, or at least to offer. Had you not driven, she would have needed to have paid for transport, however just because you were driving, does not mean that the journey came for free.
Although you haven’t brought this up yourself, there could be a non-awkward way of recovering the money from this trip. You could drop her a message, very casually that says something like, ‘sorry it has taken me a couple of weeks, but I have worked out the petrol cost for the trip and it came to £…. each. No rush xx’. It would be expected for you both to have split this money so it would not be out of order for you to message her this. I am sure your friend did not think about this and once she realises what a lump sum it is, she will have no qualms about splitting it with you.
Alternatively, you may choose to leave it this time and want to make sure it does not happen again on the next trip together. In which case, when you are making travel arrangements, include the petrol cost at this point. You would do if it was a train, bus or flight so it would not be unusual for you to do so with petrol costs too. I cannot imagine that she will object to this.
It sounds as though your friend did not acknowledge the extra spending during your trip, therefore making her aware of it in a casual way is by far your best option.
Don’t give up on her – happy travels.