What I’ve Learnt Over The Past 3 Years…
A bit of a different but honest post from me today. Today I’m going to share with you 5 things about the reality of being a single mama (and don’t worry it’s not all bad) but I want to be honest. I’m one for sharing all the positives of our life and love doing so but it’s not all as easy as I make out. I hope in writing this that there’s another single mama out there reading this and will be able to relate. So here it is, 5 things I’ve learned over the past three years through my journey of single parenting Maya…
There is a side to bringing a child on your own that so draining and that’s the side of always being the only person around. At times I get so sick of Maya wanting me and shouting me constantly. I know all kids can be wingy but when your the only one around, patience can wear thin. Don’t get me wrong I no doubt feel hugely guilty for getting tired or cross but sometimes it can get too much! At the end of the day I am only human though and it can get exhausting being the only one there at times.
Alone Time? Ha!
Take a nap they say, sleep when she does, have a bath when she’s in bed! If only ah! I could well say I never ever get any time to myself when Maya is around. Maya is now in state pre-school which has actually lighten the load a bit as I get 2 hours 45 mins free everyday to get on with chores, but in that time I’m either doing to house work or a food shop! Generally though most of the time I can’t even have a bath so I find it easier now to jump in with her. You could say I rarely get to go anywhere on my own, so yeah a nice evening wined and dined or spa day is never in sight for me. Obviously don’t mind but now and again would be bad, especially as the ‘tantrum threes’ game is strong right now.
It goes without saying that I love Maya, she is my whole life, my world and seriously I love it just being the two of us. I moan about it but secretly I love sharing a bed with her and having her all to myself the majority of the time. She is an angel and we have the most amazing bond (she’s definitely a Mummy’s girl!). But (and that’s a big but) … it does get lonely. I get days where everything is just a bother. Im sure I’m not the only one here, but I’m the only to raise her, care for her and provide for her on a daily basis. Yes, I know I am more than capable of doing so, but it does get lonely sometimes. No one likes to admit they are lonely so it’s something that I don’t share or talk about at all. I like to keep and show a positive mindset. Sometimes it does weigh on me though and I think that boils down to anxiety if I’m honest!
Maya is generally so well behaved (apart from the present tantrum threes) but she is such a cute, caring and loving little girl and I’m so proud that she’s mine. The feeling I get knowing I have raised her by myself and seeing what a clever, smart and beautiful little princess she is, is just the best most amazing feeling ever. I’m just winging it day by day, I have no idea what I’m doing but she really is a doll. Putting the stress and guiltiness aside that I sometimes feel, I could not be without her. This mamahood malarkey is such a rollercoaster of emotions but at least we can all say, we are trying our best and that’s all we can do!
People say when you have a daughter you have a best friend and it’s definitely true. I mean there really is no better bond than a Mother & Daughters but when your doing it alone, its amazingly special and such a tight bond. Maya has an amazing bond with her Nannie & Bampi which absolutely melts my heart but sometimes even they won’t do! It’s always “Mama”. I love it though. At night she will always ask “whose bed tonight Mummy”. She just has to be playing with my hair and cuddled into me. There’s so many adorable sweet things she says and it literally melts me. The love and bond our relationship has untouchable.