I’m tired, really bloody tired.
Life can be draining sometimes.
Challenges are sent and acknowledging them instead of denying them takes a lot of mustering of energy.
Denial or avoidance had always been one of my go to strategies. I’d always been a deadline type of girl and as long as there was still time on the clock, I had never been in a rush to confront difficult things.
- My cup is always full.
- I trust the universe.
- Why let something bother me? Life is happening for me, it’s happening for a reason, I trust the outcome.
Sound familiar? These types of statements used to be my train of thought and sometimes, if I’m honest, they still are.
And although life has always worked out OK for me, I’m not striving for mediocre anymore.
What I’ve learned throughout my self-development journey/maturity, whatever you want to call it, is that when the universe nudges us with challenges or forces us to deal with difficult situations – divorce, death, breakdowns, these challenging times are moments of opportunity. Opportunities for change and we get to choose whether we are ready to embrace the change or not.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to carry on as normal and surrendering the outcome, that’s the norm. When times are tough, we like to wallow in our misery for a little while. Grieving for the old is cathartic. But trust me when I tell you, every time we surrender – another challenge, another opportunity will present itself,
again and again and again
until we choose to listen and see life’s opportunities through a different lens.
I’ve been guilty of avoiding making a decision for almost four years now. A decision about my relationship. Yes, I know – I’m a relationship coach, right!?
So, don’t get me wrong – my relationship has been incredible – full of fun, full or travel, full of amazing experiences and my heart has been fuller than ever before.
My relationship has been at enough of a distance that it doesn’t impact on my day-to-day family life, the kids get their mums full attention for the majority of the year. My relationship gives me liberty to delve deep into my work and gives me so much time freedom to do so. All things that were on my wish list, all things that I craved after a difficult divorce.
My relationship, especially in the early stages, showed me a different side of love, feelings I’d never experienced before. My heart was full to bursting, yet the space I craved allowed me so much time for self-reflection, which, at first, lead to self-doubt.
I was left feeling vulnerable at times, not in control, lonely and pushing back against the relationship for fear of not being enough or because it was easier to walk away from than it was to commit to. Maybe because I was more hurt from the breakdown of my marriage than I cared to admit to myself. Maybe because id put all my energy into making sure my kids were ok and forgetting to look after myself, avoiding looking after myself.
Regardless, this space and those feelings forced me to look inwards and presented me the opportunity to work on me.
My issue with my current relationship has always been that I can see the future clearly. I can visualise every aspect of it; where we will be, who we will be with, our lifestyle, our friends, our family. The food we will eat, the conversations we will have, the places in the world we will experience together. But it’s the present that’s been difficult to imagine. The only way to get the future we desire is to make sacrifices now. Or risks, maybe risks is a better description. Although risks with confidence and belief are empowered decisions, right?
My life right now, is great. In many ways I have it all – the house, the family, the career – but if I commit to the next step then I know I will level up my life, my family’s life, my relationship exponentially.
This last month was a huge test, a self-imposed relationship ultimatum of sorts and just as I was about to avoid the decision-making process once again, the universe sent one final challenge, one final nudge…
…a make or break situation.
Our hearts and our souls came together as one and we answered the universe’s call. We decided that there was no more room for dalliances with our lives and we carved a definite path for the future.
I have never felt more open and vulnerable but I’ve never felt more self-belief, more ready, more trusting, more confident in my decisions – and why – because I’ve taken my time, I’ve done the work on myself to be ready to commit, to be be ready to allow someone else into my life. I’ve granted myself time to heal and I’m now armed with a toolkit of strategies to work towards having the best relationship, the relationship I deserve.
It all starts with us and what we choose to do with those universal nudges.
When you’re ready – you’ll read the signs – you’ll take the opportunities, but in the meantime – work on you.