I was literally swept me off my feet with affection and compliments and he made me feel so special. And I can’t lie, to start with I loved having all the attention. The huge bouquet of flowers on our first date, to him telling me he loved me after only a few weeks of dating to someone who hadn’t had much attention and love for a while, being showered in compliments felt wonderful. But it wasn’t long before things started to change.
When you first meet someone, being swept off your feet feels fun, exciting and amazing. Being showered with affection and love is such an incredible feeling, especially at the start of a new relationship. However, love bombing is a very different story.
Often used by narcissists and other toxic people, love bombing happens when someone overwhelms you with loving words, actions and behaviour as a manipulation technique, with the goal of making the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.
How do you know of you are being love bombed? These are some of the classic signs of love bombing to look out for:
Being showered with gifts
Love bombing involves being showered with over-the-top gifts and gestures. My narcissist ex-partner used to take me away to expensive spa hotels for a weekend break and pay for everything. I didn’t think anything of it at first – only that it was nice to be spilt and treated like a princess. The gestures can seem harmless at first, but the point is to manipulate you into thinking you owe them something.
We all crave attention, and it is really nice to receive compliments from someone, but a narcissist will be very over-the-top with their compliments. My ex-partner told me he loved me and couldn’t wait for me to be his wife within 6 weeks of us first meeting. Compliments themselves aren’t a bad thing, but it’s the context in which they are used is something to be aware of.
You’re meant to be together
They make you believe that you are meant to be together, that you are soulmates, and that fate bought the two of you together. Again, my narcissistic ex -partner used all these classic lines on me and had me believing we really were soulmates.
Overwhelmed by their intensity
It all starts to feel a little bit overwhelming and suffocating. You love them very much and want to be with them, but you just never know what to expect one minute to the next from them – introducing the classic narcissist sign to look out for– the Jekyll and Hyde behaviour and personality split.
If you are in the early stages of a relationship and everything feels like it is moving a bit too quickly for you and you have recognised some of the classic signs of love bombing, then please reach out to a friend or family member and share with them your feelings and what has been happening.