Love me or hate me, that is the question. If you love me, then thank you. If you hate me, then f**k u. Omg lol, does anyone else remember this song? I remember making up dance routines with my primary school mates to it ffs.
Anyway, that’s not what this blog is about – it’s about LOVE OR FEAR? That is the question.
Love and fear are two primal emotions. It’s believed that you can’t feel both at once. In the same way that the light removes darkness, love can remove fear. But fear can also distance you from love. Often when the mind is cloudy it’s nice to think back to this theory to simplify your emotions. Because to me, every thought, word and action comes back around to those two primal emotions. Am I going to love this thing and make the most of it or am I going to fear it and hide?
All emotions ultimately relate back to love OR fear, there can only be one.
Talking to my team in Nepal about the notion of choosing love or fear actually changed my perception. Something that stood out to me when we got talking about it was my friend’s opposite perspective – I was convinced we should eliminate fears as they were the barrier stopping us from reaching our potential, but Sandhya believes that fears are good and we should enjoy taking them on as challenges to mould our identity. Fears are good because we are human and it’s natural to fear things, to protect our safety for example – it’s instinct. So fears protects us. But do we want to stay protected for the rest of our lives?
Do we want to choose terror and let fears hold us back, or choose excitement to feel alive?
Of course, we want to stay protected from danger and harm, but we often link fear to things which are not actually going to endanger us, like hearing that one dog bites and thinking all dogs bite, or letting the fact that one girl drowned stop you from learning to swim. We construct these ideas in our minds that a bad outcome is bound to happen when this is not a fact and there may be thousands of positive outcomes. We develop these fears which lock us from reaching our highest potential. It links to your perspective: you may not get the girl but there’s a better one coming. You may not have won the competition but who’s to say you won’t win the next?
You will learn a lot from the experience of failing. Failure is a part of growth so we shouldn’t fear it.
Run into your fears and I know you’ll come running back out feeling alive. Easier said than done – isn’t everything. We’re going to get nervous it’s normal. But –
1. By picturing things going badly, you will only add negativity to your performance and create a worse outcome.
Compared to –
2. If you go into a situation loving the opportunity with a PMA believing that you will do your best, you WILL do your best and if your best is not good enough…who caresssssss? You can work on it to be the best next time.
(Not that being the best would be all that magic, I imagine it would be stressful but if you’re asking for great things you can’t complain when the pressure’s piled on).
Fall in love with the possibilities.
What’s sometimes more exciting is not knowing the outcome. We think when we plan things out in our relentless little minds that we KNOW how things will turn out. That things will go ‘one way or the other’, but we actually we can’t predict the future. We don’t know which door the key will open next nor do we know which door of the past it will lock. That is the excitement.
Choosing love fosters inner peace and happiness. Love is the strongest drug because we only fear through the love of ourselves and our lives. So of course you will avoid life threatening danger but the other fears, the small ones, the ones we think about every day – they are not going to kill you, they are just going to deprive you of feeling alive and human. So attack those fears with the excitement of possibility. I bet you will love life more when living on the edge. Easy for somebody with no major responsibilities to say – but to everyone, we could be here today and gone tomorrow -so why wait?
Challenge —— When you next go into a situation you’re unsure about, asses it, relax and think ‘are my next actions going to be through love, to LOVE this opportunity to grow or through fear? Am I going to FEAR the mind created danger which may not even be real?’
A poem by my Nepalese thoughts –
Although the outcome
is never clear,
In order to grow
we can’t live in fear.
The world we live in
won’t always be kind,
But will you be the one
to thrive or hide?
Stop questioning your mind
No time to hide while you’re alive.