This last twelve months has been similar to doing the Hokey Cokey. We’ve been in, out, in, out and shaking it all about. Before going back in again.
We’ve reached the point that it was over a year ago that the first lockdown was announced and we were told to stay at home. All of us thinking that this lockdown was going to be the one and only lockdown. By the Summer, we were going to go back to our normal lives and Covid would have been a distant memory. Oh how wrong we were.
Twelve months later, we’re into our third lockdown (I think, I’ve lost track) and there seems to be some sceptical hope in sight. I’m hoping that by the Summer (for definite) things will be a little better and that we can have some sort of normality. Again, I’m still a little sceptical. After shielding for a year though, can you blame me?
Usually reflection posts are ones that are done at the end of a calendar year, but as these last twelve months have been so infamous, I think it felt right to write a post about what this last year has taught me and reflect on a year in lockdown.
I can safely say that I will be leaving lockdown, whenever that ends, a different woman. I have become a lot more savage in my personality and I get very agitated and even the most minor of conveniences annoy the eff out of me now. When you see some people you follow on social media platforms break lockdown rules constantly whilst you’re stuck in the house shielding watching your cat play fetch, you do get a little bitter and angry at things like that.
Hopefully when I leave lockdown, that hostility will leave my personality instantly and I’ll go back to being pre pandemic Lucy. Who knows, but that’s the hope.
Another thing that lockdown has taught me is to be more appreciative, even if it’s just the littlest of things. I have begun to learn to be grateful for the food I eat, the roof over my head, the family and friends I have, the health care I receive (not that I didn’t immensely appreciate that before) and the love that is around me. Some people didn’t have some of those things during lockdown to keep them going, so it’s important for me to be thankful of what I do have and not so much moaning on my part.
My mental health these last twelve months has been up and down like a rollercoaster (scuse the cliché) and there have been phases of feeling hopeless, useless and alone (I’ve been living with my Mam for those wondering, but still) there have been a couple of highs that have occurred during these lockdowns. Kaftrio becoming available for those with Cystic Fibrosis, starting Kaftrio myself, Liverpool winning the Premier League and having wonderful neighbours who I have seen more than my family and friends this year. Neighbours have become family to me during lockdown. I couldn’t be more grateful for having such wonderful neighbours giving me support when I’ve needed it most.
I was never going to write this post and be so negative about being in lockdown. Ok, it has stunk and still stinks now. But I’m somebody who looks for the positives, whether that be in people (except Bozza, Piers Morgan or Donald Trump) or situations, there was no way I was never not going to mention the positives in the above paragraph.
Being stuck at home has allowed me to discover my own self limits and what I am capable of as a person. I’ve been setting myself limits of what is easier to achieve rather than what I really want to achieve in my life. I’ve limited my capabilities and have allowed myself to believe that I haven’t got the potential to go for what I want. That stops after lockdown ends. I need to reach for the stars (S Club 7 throwback right there)
I could go on and on reflecting on a year in lockdown, but I don’t want this post to be like a long novel. Lockdown has treated us all differently. We’ve all been put on the same boat but sailed in different directions. Does that make sense?
I’d like to think that the world will hopefully be a better place after the pandemic ends (whenever that may be) and we will be kinder to each other, respect others more, be mindful of each other and just be kinder to ourselves.
Also I’m praying and begging on my hands and knees (literally) that I will NOT have to do a similar post like this in March 2022. I think I will be a much angrier person if I had to otherwise!
For those who are struggling during this (I think) third lockdown – you’re almost there. We all are. Just hang in there and you’ll soon be reuniting with family and friends. You’ll be going to have that coffee date with friends. You’ll be going to that family BBQ. You’ll be going on that staycation with loved ones. You’ll be going to the pub for that anticipated first alcoholic drink outside the home. Just hang on in there, we’re so close.
How would you sum up these last 12 months for yourself? Let me know below!