I have been single for a lot longer than I care to admit. I am the third wheel, sometimes even the fifth wheel. I’ve downloaded Tinder more times than I can remember, and I get placed on the table full of singletons at weddings.
And although I have begun to accept this is how life is at the moment and it doesn’t actually bother me to be single, I’ve realised it bothers other people much more.
I have been on the receiving end of more awkward conversations as to why exactly I’m single than anyone should ever have to go through, so I thought I would pull together a list of the top things not to say to single people, with the idea to ya know maybe laminate it and hand out at any social gatherings.
You’ll meet someone when the time is right
Ahhhhh the classic line.
Excellent thanks hun… and when will the time be right exactly? Telling a single person this, is just not helpful, at all. How are you even supposed to respond to that? How do I know when the time is right? And if I’m thinking about it does that mean the time isn’t right.
Are you putting yourself out there? Have you tried online dating?
This makes me want to smash my head on the desk when people say this to me. Believe me, if a single person wants to meet someone, they will be putting themselves out there, they will be doing all they can to meet someone. Some people love online dating, some people couldn’t think of anything worse. Either is fine. There is no right or wrong.
You’ll find someone, your time will come
This comment is usually said with all the best intentions, its supposed to make us single people feel oh so much better. But a lot of the time I think it actually just makes the person saying it feel better. Most of the time I will reply (through gritted teeth) with a ‘I hope so!’ or if I am feeling particularly sassy or pissed off, I will say ‘Maybe not, but I’m okay with that’
How are YOU still single?
I think people will think this is a flattering thing to say, like ‘Hun, you’re fabulous how are you still single?’ is supposed to make me feel better? No, it makes me focus on my flaws and over think the whole situation. It makes me feel like I have to defend myself as to why I am single. But give me single life to settling for a wrong relationship any day.
You must be talking to someone
My mum in particular is a lover of this line. I think most of the time she assumes I have this whole secret dating life when in fact my phone is drier than the amazon desert. But thanks for the reminder G.
So and so is single want me to hook you up?
Should come with the disclaimer **Regardless of the fact they’re not your type, don’t live anywhere near you, are ten years younger than you etc etc. Just because you know one other person who is single does not mean you can whack any old twosome together.
My beef with this whole subject is telling a single person that someone will come along is like telling them that they are incomplete on their own, that their whole purpose in life is to wait for someone else to come along to make them whole. So, if you’re the one in a relationship and you have a single friend like me, do them a favour and stop asking, stop talking about things you don’t know and concentrate on the things you do know. Focus on the good parts of said friend’s life instead of the things that are missing.
Trust me, your single friend will thank you.