So, when are you going to have a baby? It is one of the most personal decisions a person can make, so why are we always asked about having children? You get engaged, “when are you having a baby?” New house, new baby. I’ve even had friends be asked on their wedding day. Stop asking when I’m going to have a baby!
I’m sorry, this will be a bit of a rant…
According to society, we must follow a formula. Get an education, get a job, move out, settle down, have a baby before retiring, and then die.
At age 37, I’m childless. However, my wombs current occupancy status is apparently up for discussion. I’m tired of the questions, and it’s exhausting having to reply
It is something I’m asked all the time. Oh, you need to get a move on. You haven’t got much time left. Every day your chances diminish. You should really try now to avoid any medical issues. The biological clock is against you, and the egg quality is reducing by the day. Your partner has a good job, don’t worry about your career. These are just some of the comments I have received. Having time pressures put on me isn’t going to help the situation.
Anything on the way yet?
I appreciate that I am classed as a “geriatric” medically, but don’t assume it is something I want or can experience it. For all you know, we have been trying but have been left disappointed or that we have miscarried. I haven’t, and I hope that I never have to feel that pain or further devastation of losing a child. Which I have witnessed in close friends. A lifelong hurt that they do not deserve.
Would you go up to someone you barely know and ask about their sex life? What’s your favourite position, and how often do you do it? No, you wouldn’t! But why do people think it is ok to ask about growing your family?
I’m sure most comments are said with all the best intentions. But I’m finding it more and more intrusive, as well as shockingly rude. I have even responded in ways that are nasty and spiteful.
Are you baren?
I understand that older generations might look at us, working long hours, travelling all the time and walking our dog in the park, and think that we are missing valuable time with our potential family. There is a distinct lack of sensitivity around the topic and little understanding if you are trying – with no guarantee you will conceive.
So, when’s it going to happen?
Seriously, does it ever stop?
Ultimately, I don’t need to justify my decision to anyone. No couple is obligated to have children. If and when we decide we’re ready to have a baby, it will be because we want to, and we’re prepared for it. Not because our well-meaning buy nosy community wants us to.
Would I like my own children? For now, I’m keeping quiet. I might tell you one day.