I’m not going to lie, the thought of turning 30 horrified me. I didn’t feel like I had achieved anything in the years up until then and I honestly just felt utter dread at the thought of blowing out those candles.
Do you know what? I couldn’t have been more wrong. This past year has been one of the most productive for me (which is saying a lot considering a lot of it has been under lockdown) and I honestly feel like I have grown so much as a person.
I have never had a career but I now know what it is I want to do and if that doesn’t work out I also have a viable back up. I think that’s pretty good going! Maybe I won’t ever make it as a full time content creator/blogger but I have grown my hobby from nothing and I’m so proud of that. I’ve decided to go back to college next year and even have a small business plan in the works with my sister. If my dream doesn’t ever come to life in the way I want it to, it’ll always be something I can do for me and I’ll have a job for life to fall back on.
I now know who I am as a person, I’m stronger and full of fight. I know what I want and am more than capable of going after it. I’ve been through more than a lot of people twice my age and I’m still standing. That says so much about my character and something I’ve never really given myself credit for until now.
I will never claim that I am the perfect mum, far from it. However, I now feel an inner peace with the fact that we’re all just winging it and doing the best we can. Every single one of us. Sometimes our lives look like something straight from the instagram grid with healthy, home cooked meals and stimulating activities before an appropriate bedtime and others we eat super noodles before settling in for a cuddle and a living room floor covered in snacks. It’s all about balance and creating memories whilst still allowing ourselves time to just be human.
I’m finally in a relationship that makes me happy. I know I’m loved and I feel secure and confident in myself. Saying that, I know should the worst happen that I would also be absolutely fine on my own and that’s something I never thought I would say. I’m with my other half because he adds something positive to my life, not because I’m afraid of being on my own.
I’m not saying that turning 30 was the answer to all of life’s problems, for me it was more realising that getting older didn’t mean that things were set in stone. My life could be what I make of it if I work hard enough.
In a few short months I’ll be 31 and for the first time in my life I can honestly say I’ve got this, bring it on.