So I made it… or should I say WE made it, through our first week.
I don’t think it’s quite sunk it yet that i’m back in the working world, a working world that is now so different to how I left it 12 months ago.
I had rather naively thought that leaving baby number 2 at nursery was going to be easier as it was my second time around, but actually it’s been the biggest challenge of them all.
She wasn’t a Corona baby, she was born last October, but unfortunately the effects of lockdown have had a much bigger impact on her than I first realised. She’s not left my side… she’s not been to a baby class, she’s not been to sleepover at one of her nanna’s houses, she’s not even had a few hours alone with them whilst I sneak off for a spa day! I wouldn’t change the lovely time that we have gotten to have as a family but it really has had an effect not just on us grown ups and older children, but little babies too.
She is getting there, she made herself sick from crying the first day and is now only crying on and off through the day, but it is utterly heartbreaking. I find it more heartbreaking that I am coming home to an empty house to log onto my computer… she is just down the road from me. Weirdly if I was driving to an office I think the guilt would be eased slightly as there would feel more of a reason to leave her, and of course I would be in at the deep end and distracted.
I’m lucky to have a fast paced and full on job which means I have been able to get my head down and stuck into some work this week, but the house is so quiet and empty, the end of maternity with Darcy and now George at school too after lockdown. I longed for the days of not being asked to do more cooking, to get the play doh out and glitter! But now it seems like a lifetime ago.
But hey, this is not a doom and gloom post. I survived, George has more than loved going to school which has been such a relief, and Darcy will adjust with time, we all will.
For now and this weekend, is family time and cuddles .