We made it!!
You’re probably already bored of that phrase right? Well what’s one more use of it! Sorry if it makes you want to bang your head against a wall, I feel the same every time I hear “now more than ever” on tv and radio ads!
Anywho, we did make it. We didn’t see this coming, we didn’t know how we’d get through but we did get through and even if you didn’t conquer the world like you thought you would or didn’t slay your 2020 moodboard like you wanted to, you bloody survived 2020 and that is enough! Reread that last part, you survived and that is enough! We’re only human at the end of the day, how were we supposed to survive the pandemic and every other tragedy that 2020 threw at us; if someone did know they should’ve written a book about it – definitely would’ve been a bestseller.
But they didn’t so we had to figure it out ourselves.
If you had a wobble last year, cried on a Wednesday that you didn’t put the bins out because you thought it was Tuesday, screamed into a pillow because you had another zoom call with another load of technical issues or had a meltdown because your banana bread burnt then my loves, you are not alone.
But for me there have been lessons and learning opportunities to be had from 2020 and I am very grateful for that. So here’s my reflection on the past year, what I’m bringing with me in 2021 and what can absolutely fucking stay in 2020.
This was absolutely rife last year – I don’t even think it was just me either. We all felt really meh and seeing gorgeous people in gorgeous houses in gorgeous clothes in gorgeous weather made Mrs Potato head over here feel horrible. I was convinced I was a 1/10 and that Lover Boy was only with me out of some sort of weird sympathy… I realise how insane I sound. Social media was not my friend at times during lockdown. I remember seeing all these beautiful women dancing around on social media and I’m like that could never be me, and now I realise correct that could never be me because they’re them and I’m me – duh. I’m gonna be trying my upmost this year to not compare myself to others, wether it’s because she’s got the perfect hair, the sharpest flick of eyeliner or the tightest abs – I am me, and that’s exactly why my family, my friends and my boyfriend love me! <3
I can do it myself –
I’m just going to give myself the title of DIY Queen now ok? Well joint title with my mum coz our house look FRESHHHHH! In the first lockdown mum got furloughed about 3 weeks in and from that point on for about a week or two all we found ourselves doing was eating, so we decided enough is enough! Let’s start the overdue redecorating. We already had 90% of what we needed to achieve a 60 Minute Makeover, or rather 60 Day Makeover… But we did it, we completely redecorated my room, the teeny tiny “office” aka the box room and the living room, whilst giving a fresh lick of paint to every other room of the house! It was nice to be looking at the new and improved 4 walls! Oh the point of this one was, hey I’m quite handy, I’m officially Miss Independent, Bob the builder who, I don’t need no man (I really like the one I’ve got though!)
Doing nothing isn’t lazy –
Take a day for yourself, you fucking earned it! Honestly the amount of guilt that people carried with them during all these lockdowns man, all because we weren’t climbing Everest or starting small businesses that BOOMED in the first 3 days of operating. Bro, we’re in a pandemic. I had days where I was like well my Instagram isn’t growing at a rapid rate I’m not working hard enough, then I realised hold on – pandemic or not, I’m allowed me time, I’m allowed a break. There was a particularly beautiful day between lockdowns when my mum returned to work and I watched Chicago PD all day long and my god did I need that – just me, a blanket, breakfast, lunch, snacks and the city of Chicago (the coldest place in the world apparently!). Don’t get me wrong, I love the feeling of crushing my to-do list but not getting up until 10:30 and doing sweet f all is also really good for the soul sometimes: don’t be so hard on yourself when you just want, or rather need, a lazy day!
Stop thinking that horrible thought, stop that right now! I’m not talking toxic positivity, like be happy stay happy! More like that old saying goes ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it’ but for me it’s more the self bullying – I’ve tortured myself regularly this year, for all sorts of reasons and it’s not fair on my body or my mind. I also find myself looking for negatives in others to make myself feel better and honestly that’s messed up. I’m putting so much negativity into the world because honestly I’ve still got a lot of resentment and anger towards the universe for a number of reasons but I don’t like being this negative person anymore. It’s quite draining. This doesn’t mean be that gross positive that ends up being really toxic but yeah I suppose don’t say/think anything if it isn’t nice towards yourself or others.
So yeah that’s my reflection. I tried to make this a shorter post because you may be stuck in some sort go Groundhog Day style loop of reading, listening and watching random people’s reflections of 2020, and so I didn’t want to add another needlessly long blogpost to your suffering but I think I did, sorry!
Good luck for 2021 – you got this!
Must dash x