Over the last seven days I’ve deliberately chosen to immerse myself in the world of women.
I’ve always had a great circle of female friends, but my mum also encouraged me to be friends with boys. Her words still ring in my ears:
“Boys aren’t as bitchy as girls, they’ll always have your back”
And although relationships with boys come with their own challenges, this belief has always been at the back of my mind, meaning approaching gaggles of giggling women (as well as men) has always been done with a degree of caution…
This week I turned my back on that old belief and ran full throttle into a number of different environments where the female species were found in abundance :
I’ve attended business conferences and start-up events.
I’ve danced with social mammas alongside naked butlers…
I’ve worked with young women in the highs and lows of early life.
And I’ve listened and resonated with more mature women, who like many of us, still haven’t quite got their shit together.
What I’ve found by examining our gender more closely is that we all seem to inhibit the same internal dialogue characterised by:
• self doubt
• the self-inflicted responsibility of caring for everyone else and often forgetting ourselves
• a feeling of unworthiness
• a willingness to give every ounce of our being to others and resultingly feel a weight of endless ‘to dos’
• comparison syndrome
• a fear of being honest with ourselves and a fear of saying how we feel out loud.
You can relate, right?
What I loved 💓about the women I met this week was that they had all stepped out of their comfort zones, they were trying to say goodbye to their bullshit limiting beliefs and trying to let go of the persona they’ve created themselves – at least for the period of time they were in this new environment surrounded mostly by strangers. (I’ll come back to this point!)
Every woman I met wanted to better themselves and their lives and every single one valued themselves enough to take that first step out of the safety zone and into the unknown.
Despite their initial fears:
Do I look ok?
Will anyone talk to me?
What if I can’t…?
What if I’m not…enough?
They were sharing their trials, tribulations and achievements with each other and motivating and supporting other to keep pushing forward on their journeys.
They talked and laughed with love and ease in environments which, after the initial fears, felt safe and secure.
They all had a desire to grow and no matter what age, every single person I spoke to told me they could feel a shift in their lives and that’s why they had stepped out of their comfort zones.
Bloody amazing, right?
BUT… (not the naked butler’s butt)
But what women want and what women do can be very different things and that’s what has made me want to write this particular blog!
Many of the women I met this week felt that this ’empowerment’, this ‘freedom’, was a temporary feeling for them. That they had ‘escaped’ their ‘real’ life for a few hours and would be returning to ‘mum’, ‘wife’, ‘employee’…. (insert as appropriate) mode as soon as the clock struck midnight!
Why ladies, why can’t you be both….?
Why can’t you be the mum and the business woman? Why can’t you be the mum and the social diva? Why can’t you be the most amazing wife whilst doing it on your own terms?
WHY CAN’T YOU BELIEVE THAT
HAVE IT ALL?
In my last blog (Single Parenting Is a Super Power) I admitted to you all that this is exactly how I felt… my limiting belief at that Tony Robbins event was that whilst I was a mum I couldn’t be everything else I longed to be…. that would be selfish, the kids had to come first.
But that was a bullshit belief!
The moment I changed my mindset – that’s the exact moment that not just mine, but my family’s’ life changed forever. Forever and for the better.
From that day on I began to make a bigger impact at home, in work, in the world! 🌍
And that’s what I’m here to tell you today: you CAN be anything you dare and dream to be!
You’ve already taken the first step…
Now you need to keep moving forward!
Keep the momentum – role model and instil that drive and determination in everyone you meet – especially your children.
Show them you’re willing to try and fail, and try again and again as long as it takes!
It’s scary, in fact it’s terrifying!
People WILL talk about you, they WILL wonder what the hell has got you all fired 🔥 up and they might not be comfortable with it at first but believe me when I tell you –
YOU’VE GOT THIS GIRL!
I believe in you – you CAN believe in you too! 💫