May 27, 2020 in Life
Relationships…we all have them, with each and every person that we know. For many of us relationships are the main thing that our life is centred around. finding the perfect partner and living happily ever after.
Now come on Hun, we know that life for most of us just isn’t that simple!
Finding your life partner can be a difficult task! Dating itself is an absolute nightmare and then being in a relationship can be as rough as toast! All this hassle? Why bother? Well having a life partner isn’t always a drain – that’s why most of us try so hard looking for them.
Relationships bring friendship, happiness, teamwork, intimacy, love and so much more.
So why is finding Mr/Mrs Right hard…then when your do– sail past the 3 months of honeymoon bliss and along come the cracks, now what?
For woman, the only advice we generally get from relationships is from our friends, but when those friends are happily married, enjoying single life, or divorced you feel like they just can’t relate. Not only that but do we really want to be exposing ourselves with such vulnerability – we don’t want to be judged. As much as we love our friends, we don’t want them to see our failures (then judge us when 2 days later we post on insta our ‘date night’).
So, who do we turn to…. google? Well that just brings up a whole host of shit probably written by some rich bitch living her dream life sleeping on Louis Vuitton bedsheets with her muscly husband and 3 exceptionally beautiful children. Not exactly relatable to me escaping to Aldi to calm down from an argument with my fiancé or the standard Saturday night in revolution drinking sticks of vodka shots wondering who is going to make a move on me.
So, WTF do we do???
Well as you know I absolutely love reading – its amazing what this stuff teaches us, Podcasts too.
But who on earth buys relationship books? Its not 1997 you know…Wrong!!
A few weeks ago I was a few weeks into lockdown (Covid – not prison) and I was stood in the kitchen contemplating how long I would get for murder if I smothered Jason with the tea towel….until I remembered that particular towel was my favourite show tea towel and it probably wasn’t worth it (I hadn’t seen them in next since).
Love in lockdown is hard! Love is hard in general anyway! Whether your struggling to find it or just trying to keep a relationship strong. This shiz is bloody hard graft!
So, on amazon I went…researching for books that a Hun might need to sort this struggle out.
4 books later…. a week on when they got delivered Jason asked me what they were – when I said relationship books, I got an obvious eyeroll (don’t expect a man to understand).
That though is the exact reaction I think you would get if you told your friends/parents/co-workers what you were reading, because everyone assumes that you only seek help if something is wrong. No Hun! Sometimes we just need to know how to make things better or need a little guidance in the right direction.
Having been divorced at the age 28 from a 10 year relationship I think if I had taken the time to educate myself more about relationships I would have seen things differently a long time before the 10 years and I wouldn’t have spent so many years in an unhappy relationship that wasn’t meant to be, I might of even realised I shouldn’t of got married, but we live and learn (no disrespect to my ex-husband we just weren’t meant to be and I’m sure he thinks exactly the same thing).
So, what exactly have I been reading about?
Men are from Mars – Women are from Venus by John Gray
When this popped up on amazon as a best seller, I thought yep…add to basket. I was also familiar with the title. I read this book in a week (I know I’m a slow reader and only read for an hour or two at a time).
This book is a game changer!!
John Gray sets out the differences between men and women and uses his years of professional expertise to show us how we have been doing it wrong all these years. At times I felt like john had been sat in our living room watching mine and Jason’s life and was doing a running commentary on what we were doing wrong.
Now its all to easy as a women to blame a man (yes Hun as much as we hate to hear it we aren’t always right!) we as women forget that we are talking to men…yes those simple humans (sorry guys) with the natural instincts of fixing problems, being top dog and being appreciated are the only things that make them tick (according to this book).
Men don’t understand women’s intuition (surely, he knows that the pissing washing needs doing?) …no, he doesn’t. As hard as this is to believe this book teaches you everything you need to know about a man and surprisingly it will teach you how to be a better woman.
I suppose if we were constantly told what to do like the way we tell men what to do we would resist too.
Now this book was written for predominantly heterosexual relationships but if you have any kind of relationship with the opposite sex then this book may just help you out.
I wish I had read this book years ago! I only finished it a week ago and I can honestly say I’m trying to be a better person in my relationship and that us woman can be majorly hard work.
Another book that I ordered is by US comedian & TV host Steve Harvey – Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man.
This one is for anyone who is single, in a long-term relationship or waiting for him to put a ring on it!
This book is completely different to Men are from Mars, as it doesn’t come from a professional background, it comes from a straight talking hot blooded male – who believes that men are hardwired to want loyalty, support and sex (and if you don’t give a man enough then he will go elsewhere…savage!)
Whilst I couldn’t personally relate to a lot of stuff in this book, I think this would be great for those I mentioned. His funny and brutally honest advice even tells a woman that grinding on a man in the club is only going to end her up with sex – not a ring on it.
He gives his honest advice on how to know if your man is in it for the long run or if you’re just wasting your time.
Although this book was written 11 years ago its fundamental teachings won’t have really changed much. We all know that men think about sex all the time (I don’t think that will ever change).
So, if you want some help or guidance and you don’t feel like phoning a friend or asking Janet at work why your boyfriend doesn’t make your orgasm then girls…get reading!
Remember reading about relationships doesn’t mean your relationship is broke, or that you’re destined to be a smelly old cat lady, sometimes a Hun just needs to know a thing or two.
I’m still making my way through the books I ordered so I’ll keep you updated with my other reads, so get on amazon, and get your relationship A game on!
Thanks for reading Huns!
Lauren Lily Lea xxx