If you have been watching Love island this blog post is for you. If you haven’t, well hey – it might still be relevant!
Yewande and Danny are a little love story just waiting to happen.
To give you some background, the two are now coupled up and all seemed rosy and well, ya know, just meant to be… after three days of knowing someone (can you sense the sarcasm right there?)
However last night’s episode consisted of something every girl can relate to. I’m talking self sabotage within a relationship.
It’s still early days so I may be eating my words soon, but Danny, ah Danny…he is the type of guy every girl wants, yet the guy that you end up pushing away because he just seems too good to be true. He is saying all the right things, making her feel secure, eyes firmly on her at all times (not in a Joe creepy way), everything us girls say we want yet somehow Yewande suffered somewhat of a crisis of confidence last night and one that I think all girls (and maybe some boys) can relate to.
I feel it.
I’ve done it.
I have been that ticking timebomb full of insecurities.
When things are going well you start to question everything.
‘Why do they like me.’
‘They will find someone else.’
‘I’m not good enough.’
It’s a defence mechanism: if you have ever been hurt, ever had your heart broken, the next time you meet someone your guard is up high, and it takes a special kind of someone to break those walls down. Why? Because we are so scared of handing our heart to someone new for fear they will break it in two.
I totally felt for Yewande last night, because I know how that feels. Hell, I am Yewande – just not as stylish and with much bigger hips.
I know how it feels not to feel good enough for someone, to not feel you are worthy of someone’s love and attention. You live in complete fear of that person leaving you, finding someone better. So what do we do? We push them away before they have the chance to leave.
Those first weeks or even months of a new relationship, as well as being full of fun and excitement, can also fill you with anxiety. I know full well how hard it is to let yourself fall for someone and learn to trust someone new. Even talking about this right now is bringing me out in a cold sweat. I am terrified of opening myself up to someone new, petrified of getting hurt again.
But mastering this, learning to believe in yourself, knowing you are good enough is a skill everyone needs to learn because falling for someone, giving your whole heart to someone, especially the right person, is beautiful.
And something everyone is worthy of.