I’m writing this blog because I need to get things off my chest – I can’t publish under my real name at risk of my employer finding this! I do a lot of varied work in my role, across all communications, marketing and social media. I am solely responsible for the running and planning of all tasks, yet all work still has to be check over by a ‘Manager’ with no marketing experience. The process is drawn out and annoying but that’s how it is.
Right here, right now
Recently I had an appraisal and it all felt very negative. Last year they wanted me to speak up if I had any problems, so throughout the year I have done just that. Now, this year I’ve been told I complain too much. I was also greeted with “we wont review your pay right now”. I was so hopeful this might be my chance to finally achieve a standard, basic marketing wage, but no. Ok, it wasn’t a firm no, I should be grateful of that. But I felt like they hadn’t even bothered to discuss it with those who hold the purse strings. Overall, considering how much I do for the company, combined with a negative appraisal, never being furloughed when so many people were, I’ve now essentially been told to keep my mouth shut. Excuse me?
Flash Forward a few days…
Flash forward a few days and I get a call out of the blue to tell me I getting a salary increase. I was over the moon! It was so unexpected and I finally felt seen and heard. I was genuinely so thrilled.
Flash forward another few days… now I need to change my attitude. This has really rocked me. As far as I am aware, since the pay discussion, I’ve not kicked up a fuss, not complained, I’ve tried to work really hard on some major new projects coming up and I’ve not been ‘off’ with anyone. So where is all this negativity coming from? It sounds silly but I think some of it comes down to my unfortunate (real) resting bitch face? I really don’t think I deserve this ping-pong treatment in a company where our ‘big boss’ had hardly ever spoken to me before this week.
What are my options?
I’m in the process of purchasing my first home, so it really wouldn’t be advisable to start a new job on a probation when I am only just finding my feet in paying a mortgage. Apart from leaving as soon as I can, my other option would be to literally shut up and plaster a huge smile on my face everyday – what do I do?
Let’s round this up
At my company, Its more about appearances sometimes. I feel like my Line Manager hasn’t supported me at all in recent weeks, they’ve clearly passed on every conversation we’ve ever had to the big boss. Now these conversations have reflected poorly on me. I feel defeated. I feel sad. I’m disappointed in the people who are supposed to fight my corner, and it seems I’m not allowed to even if I wanted.
This isn’t a Dear Donna, but how about a Dear fellow working women – what would you do in this situation? Is it time to push through or time to move on?