Do you have atelophobia? What the heck is atelophobia and how do I know if I have it?
Don’t panic, it’s not some nasty disease that’s doing the rounds and taking people down unexpectedly. You may know it better as Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter Syndrome is fairly common in both men and women. You believe that you aren’t good enough, you have difficulty accepting praise, you feel like you have faked your way to success and that you are a fraud.
Do any of these statements seem familiar?
“ Who do you think you are giving advice?”
“ You don’t have a talent, you’re average”
“I’m not as good as them”
“They know more than I do”
Even the most successful people have moments of self doubt or as I like to call them “wobbles”. You many have heard them be called ‘mind monkeys’ or ‘the negative committee’.
Don’t let it get the better of you! Easier said then done, I get it. Please do not buy into the belief that you are average or you don’t know what you are talking about. You do!
“Do your own thing and don’t care if they like it”
– Tina Fey
Imposter syndrome does not go away over night. You need to stop comparing yourself to others. Your vision of success is not the same as someone else’s vision.
Define what success means to you and list the ways you have already achieved this. By doing this you will recognise areas in which you are successful and which areas need some work.
It is very easy to look at someone who is achieving what you want to achieve and feel disheartened. You could be comparing your chapter 1 to their chapter 10, meaning they could have been in business for five years and you have only just started.
Repeat after me “I will not compare myself to strangers on the internet” or insert relevant comparison – my industry, the gym etc
Find some positive role models. It doesn’t matter if it’s a celebrity, a family member, a friend, a blogger or a business owner. Reach out and ask them or find out on how they achieved success in their lives.
When do you feel the most confident? Look back on your memories of when you felt really confident. What did you say or achieve? Write these memories down in a special note book just for these memories. When you are having a bad day look back through this notebook for a boost of confidence to remind yourself that you CAN do this!
The power of faking it – yes really, act more confident, even if you aren’t. On the inside you may be a nervous wreck but on the outside, you are cool, calm and ooze confidence. By acting more confidently, you will project it and in time you will start believing it. I’ve had to do this on more than one occasion and I can honestly say it worked!
Use confident language such as; “I know”, “I can” and stop using language such as “I think” and “I guess”.
What I have found has really helped me throughout the years is writing down and taking screen shots of the positive feedback that I have received. It doesn’t have to be high praise, even little things like someone tweeting how they are looking forward to joining in my Twitter chat hour #woofwoofwednesday or how a training bundle within Social Wonderland Society has really helped someone grow their business. It’s all positive feedback that feeds my soul.
“The best advice I’ve ever received is, no one else knows that they’re doing either”
Something else that has helped me over the years is reading self development books. Self development books and podcasts have helped shift my mindset which has improved my confidence. Here are a few that I recommend checking out:
The above are available on Audible if you prefer to listen to books.
Also check out www.tut.com where you can sign up for free to receive a daily email from the Universe. Inspiring and uplifting messages that set you up for the day. I love when one of the messages lands in my inbox. I have to open it up straight away.
Have you ever suffered with Imposter Syndrome?